You have just broken up with the love of your life, and it hurts like hell. You feel like Robin without your Batman or salt without pepper. Everything feels alien, broken, and you feel alone. You wonder how you can get over a relationship breakup.
As Faraaz Kazi said, “No matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.”
I asked the relationship experts: “What one piece of positive advice would you give to people straight after a relationship breakup?” All of the responses I received were unique and highly insightful. Here are their answers, in no particular order, to help you get over a relationship breakup.
1) Abi Blears – Dating Coach and Matchmaker
Abi Blears, coach for the matching service, Little Black Book, said the following:
“My piece of positive advice would be to be careful who you’re blaming. Much of the time when we go through a break-up we’re trying to assign blame and to figure out what went wrong. This is normal and part of the process. This usually leads to two common outcomes:
- Blaming yourself
- Blaming your ex-partner
Instead of pointing fingers and blaming either one of you (even though it’s tempting and NORMAL), it’s healthier to reach the point where you blame the situation, circumstance, or the relationship as a whole:
“We were incompatible”
“The timing wasn’t right”
“We wanted different things from a relationship”
“Our values were misaligned”
If we blame our ex-partner entirely we hold onto resentment, which might follow you into your next relationship. If we blame ourselves it can make us spiral into a state of extreme distress, also making us a less enjoyable dating prospect and hindering our ability to move forward.”
2) James Preece – Relationship Expert and Dating Coach
Relationship expert James, who has written several books on dating, had this to say about the subject:
3) Ieva Kambarovaite – Relationship and Dating Coach
Ieva Kambarovaite, Author of “Why Am I Still Single” (for women), said:
“I think one of the most important things is not to become bitter after you break up with someone. I see too many women that break up with a guy who may have cheated on them and then they start thinking that all men are cheaters.
Some put a massive guard on to make sure no one can hurt them ever again. They don’t let themselves trust or be vulnerable. This makes it challenging when meeting new people.
If you’re not willing to take that risk and show more of who you are, you’ll attract those that are not invested in you; the emotionally unavailable, committed to someone else, married, or those that only remember you when bored.”
You wouldn’t stop eating ice cream just because your silk blouse got ruined while enjoying gelato on a sunny day, right? Then why stop believing in love just because a relationship didn’t turn the way you wanted it to.”
She also has a video on her YouTube channel which talks about how to heal heartbreak.
In Conclusion – Relationship Breakups
Personal development is a vast subject and learning how to get over a relationship breakup is a valuable skill to have in your back pocket. You don’t need to suffer and feel worse. Use this advice from the experts to help you handle this situation if it arises in your life.
Relationships breakups can be tricky. But when you know how to handle them correctly after a breakup, you can put your heart out there and love again.
Also, remember not to feel ashamed if you find you are struggling with it all. Ask for help if you need it; maybe one of the experts in this article can help you!
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Take care,
Best, Sally
Sally Leslie is a motivational coach and optimist. She helps freelancers and entrepreneurs create balance in their lives and work towards their personal and professional goals. Sally is also a B2B freelance writer for entrepreneurs, SMEs, and startups. A lover of plants, freedom, and football!
Very helpful article, thank you for the valuable tips.. and a big thanks to the page coordinators and the relationship experts for their contribution.
I am glad that the article was helpful for you Mahmoud 🙂
Breakups can be extremely tough. Sometimes it is as painful as going through the loss of your loved one. Feel the pain, don’t try to run away from it. And never let the breakup make you bitter ?
Thanks, Ieva! It was great to hear your advice for the article. I am sure it will help people. Best, Sally