In a world full of celebrities and glossy magazines, it can sometimes be hard to feel that you belong. When the Kardashians receive publicity at the drop of a hat, it is not even worth trying to compete. And why should you? You only have to be yourself. It is as simple as that. Here are some ways to start thinking differently. Helping you find your confidence and be yourself.
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Find Your Confidence – Accept Yourself
Everybody has and always will have different confidence levels. These levels change as we weave our way through life. We all have our ups and downs, but the key is to learn from these experiences.
When you accept yourself, both the good and the bad parts, you start to have a better understanding of who you really you. Once you have accepted yourself you can find your confidence. You can then see what areas you need to improve, so you can live an even happier and healthier life.
Try This Exercise
If you read my posts regularly, you will know I am a strong believer in grabbing a pen and paper and writing things down. Do it now. Write down the following. In relation to Confidence – What are you good at? What are you not good at? Be honest.
Look at the areas you consider you are not good at and then start a separate list. Detail how you can improve these areas.
For example, if you wrote that your confidence can be shaky when you meet people for the first time. Try the following.
Ask a friend if they have noticed how you act in social situations. Their response may surprise you. Maybe they did not even notice your confidence level had dropped. Or they may even share the fact that they have similar feelings at times.
Sharing and talking about your experiences with people you know, can help you realise that you are only human. It is natural to have moments when your confidence level drops. Unless of course, you are a robot 🙂
Make a commitment to yourself that the next time you meet someone new you will look into their eyes and smile. They will automatically smile back at you, which will put you at ease. Give it a go and see how you feel inside. It will become easier over time. You will feel more relaxed and ready to engage in conversation.
Surround Yourself With Real Friends
As we saw in the last section, friends can provide you with honest and valuable feedback. It is very easy to surround yourself with lots of friends. But it is more important to surround yourself with real friends.
The dictionary states that a friend is “a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard”.
This is a very important definition as it is clear that you need friends that support you and are behind you 100%. They love you for being exactly who you are. A true friend will encourage you and help you with your confidence.
A friend that criticises you and belittles you, in a negative way, is not doing anything for your confidence. In fact, they are making things worse for you. Make sure you have friends that can provide you with constructive criticism when you need it. But always have your good intentions at heart.
Jim Morrison from The Doors, sums it up nicely with this quote.
“A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself-and especially to feel, or not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at any moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is.”
― Jim Morrison
Listen, But Don’t Take It Personally
Never be afraid to ask questions, because this is how we learn. But if you ask a question related to yourself, always be open to any answers that you may receive. If it is constructive criticism, it is not personal.
Take the comments on board and use them to your advantage. Next time you are in a similar situation, you can think back to this information. Then you can act accordingly and in a more confident way.
Sometimes our confidence can be rocked when we over analyse. It is called analysis paralysis. You can end up over thinking a situation and then you become paralysed. No action is taken and consequently, no solution is found.
Be open to all answers, comments and information. Take a step back, take the emotion away and think rationally. Shield your confidence and become more empowered.
Find Your Confidence – Dive Into The Deep End
Get on that springboard and go for it!
Even this picture is scary to me. I can swim, but do not like going under water. A few years ago on a holiday with friends, one of their kids taught me how to swim underwater. I remember thinking. If a 10-year-old kid has the confidence to do it, so can I. It changed my outlook on swimming under water. And as I practice I become better each time.
Think about what is holding you back. Find a way to confront it in a happy and safe way and go forward.
The feeling afterward is one of accomplishment. You can almost feel your chest puffing out with pride as your confidence grows. I encourage you to give it a go and see how it changes you.
Which ties me nicely back to the beginning. Always be you. You do not have to act or be like anybody else.
As Judy Garland said – “Always be a first-rate version of yourself and not a second-rate version of someone else.”
Start Today
Wishing you all the confidence to embrace yourself and show the world the real you. No need to be shy now 😉 Let me know what you plan on doing to find your confidence, and how you felt afterward. I love to hear your stories!
If you know somebody who can benefit from this article, please feel free to care and share!
Looking for more articles about Confidence, check them out here 🙂
Sally Leslie is a motivational coach and optimist. She helps freelancers and entrepreneurs create balance in their lives and work towards their personal and professional goals. Sally is also a B2B freelance writer for entrepreneurs, SMEs, and startups. A lover of plants, freedom, and football!
